Sunshine and Tabula Rasa

Long time no post. Due to my laziness I think I'll just make lists of tasks I hope to accomplish this summer... and other miscellaneous thoughts.

Goals for this summer:
1. Get advertising internship (check)
2. Take two summer school classes (signed up, much more to do)
3. Learn Illustrator
4. Learn InDesign
5. Learn AP writing style
6. Read more books... and finish them!
7. Write!
8. Less internet, more sleep.
9. Work on ads on my own

Miscellaneous:
1. Road trip to Houston for an Astros game at Minute Maid Park, preferably when the Braves are in town
2. Quality time at Barton Springs
3. Explore more of Austin/Hill Country
4. More BBQ-inspired road trips
5. Swim more, run more, maybe even bike or learn to row?
6. Get tan, relax in the sun
7. East Coast vacay in August: Outer Banks, Virginia Beach, Key West (keep dreaming)... somewhere beachy

Places where I'd like to go, but probably lack the time (these are "nearby" as in within Texas):
1. Big Bend National Park
2. South Padre Island

Restaurants I'd like to try:
1. Roy's (Hawaiian fusion)
2. Casino el Camino (gigantic burgers)
3. Juan in a Million (breakfast tacos)
4. Z Tejas (upscale Mexican)

He definitely has that sun-kissed, next Dan Marino look.

When you see this face what do you think?


This guy is a total dork.
Is he a scientist? An aerospace engineer?
Man, I bet that guy got beat up a lot as a kid.

Well, believe it or not non-sports fans, but this guy is a football correspondent for ESPN. And no, his talents aren't relegated to writing and behind-the-scenes pursuits. This guy is a regular sportscaster on a number of ESPN programs.

The guy, John Clayton, is actually pretty knowledgeable, and not in that spouting off statistics kind of way. He's qualified. He's well-spoken. I will never know how he broke into the business though, because it's hard to believe an overly nerdy face like this has found a successful career in broadcasting, let alone the television sportscape (is that a word?) which is dominated by ex-players and well groomed guys, who for the most part, look and sound like jocks.

Everyone at some time or another has heard that if you must beautiful and can't have a discernable accent if you want to break in, and furthermore, stay in, broadcasting. Honestly, how many ugly people do you see delivering you your local news? It's not that Clayton's voice soothes the listener either, like a Morgan Freeman or Dennis Haysbert (of 24 and Allstate commercials fame). This guy has somehow slipped through America's harsh judgmental cracks and made a broadcasting career for himself based on merit, not beauty.

This is not to say that Clayton is ugly, as he certainly isn't. He is however, not handsome, and yes, he is outrageously geeky-looking. He looks like the last person you'd expect to know anything about football, and seeing him on TV analyzing the NFL Draft and other such news causes a huge disconnect between my expectations and what I actually see on TV.

Though Clayton has worked in this capacity for ESPN for several years, I still can't get myself to get past his appearance. Perhaps this makes me shallow, but in a glamor-obsessed media landscape (yes, that is a word!) John Clayton is the ultimate enigma. Despite his qualifications however, I will always look at him and think, "What does this guy know about football?", "He would get massacred if he ever stepped on a field and played a down!", and "Why isn't this guy using his intellect to make a killing in the stock market or conducting neurological tests in some obscure wing of a psychiatric hospital?"

Or then again, maybe he is for all that we know, and leading a clandestine double life.

Picture Source: Tan13506's Xanga Site
http://www.xanga.com/tan13506/478323381/item.html

Remember the Slowskys?

The other day I was talking to a friend about using animals to make funny ads, and I mentioned how much I loved "The Slowskys" campaign for Comcast from a few years ago. I was shocked to find out that she hadn't seen the commercials, and I figured that this was preposterous and necessitated an immediate remedy.

For those also unfamiliar, the commercials featured Bill and Karolyn, a married turtle couple, more fondly known as The Slowskys. The turtles liked things just so, at their own, slow pace. They found the high-speed of Comcast internet overwhelming and instead opted for a more comfortable alternative for them, in the form of slower DSL service.

My favorite thing about the commercials were the subtleties. One of my favorite lines was when Karolyn piped up that they "felt rushed" by Comcast's high speed. Another commercial has a strategically placed coffee mug that says "Decaf for life." These fine details really add up to the atmosphere and overall humor of the spots.

Here are a few of my favorites. Enjoy:

A good introduction to the Slowsky family...


"I didn't know you could read!"
"There's a lot of things you don't know about me."
(Great banter between Bill and Karolyn)...


Love Karolyn's sass when she quips about Bill's middle name:


All these and more are the great work of Goodby Silverstein & Partners out west in SF.

IHOP Update

So today I made it to the local IHOP and tried half of the Horton Hears a Who promotional menu. I tried both the Beezlenut Splash beverage and Who-Cakes. The Beezlenut Splash arrived first and was about what I expected; it tasted like Sprite with slurpable Jello chunks inside.

Upon delivery, the waiter mentioned that he had never seen an adult try either item. I must say the lack of adventurousness in the Austin IHOP-eating community is pretty disappointing. Despite this warning, I was not to be deterred on my mission. He frequently checked up on us to see that things were going OK and to see what I thought of my drink (and of course later, the Who-Cakes).

Then the Who-Cakes arrived. They were a complete sugar overload, and it made me glad that at the last second I decided to add a starchy side of hashbrowns to my order. I was warned multiple times, but of course, I had to try for myself. I'd have to say they are a lot prettier than they are tasty.

The combination of syrups was a bit much, but inside the pancakes in the stacks hadn't absorbed nearly the same amount of syrup, which made them taste a lot better. I would have to say that the least appetizing part of the Who-Cakes were the multi-colored chocolate pieces sprinkled on top. Once I made this realization and scraped them to the side, my meal was a lot more enjoyable. I felt sorta bad about this though because the waiter made sure that they gave me extra chocolate on top in order to make it prettier:



As lame as I could possibly be, I didn't end up finishing the Who-Cakes. I ate about 2/3 of them though, which was easier after discovering the food's improvement upon removing the chocolate. It was nice to enjoy the lollipop at the end too. I did order a refill on the Beezlenut Splash though.

If you want to try the Horton menu, you better hurry! The promotion ends tomorrow, April 20th!

Q: What do Dodgeball and Planters have in common?

A: One terrifying, icky, unibrowed female.

Left: "Fran" of the Purple Cobras in Dodgeball
Right: The new "starlet" in Planters Peanuts commercials

Four years late on the craze, last night I finally watched that movie Dodgeball. Though the movie was about as entertaining as I anticipated, the plot wasn't much like I expected. I just figured Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller were professional dodgeballers in some sort of dodgeball league. I had no idea that the premise was Vaughn's character playing dodgeball in order to use the prize money in order to save his bankrupting gym. (Which now that I think about it, isn't this the same as Happy Gilmore, where Adam Sandler's character takes up golf in order to win enough money to save his grandma's house from foreclosure?)

Regardless, Vaughn plays dodgeball for a team called Average Joe's (also the name of his gym) and Ben Stiller heads the rival gym's team, the Purple Cobras. The Purple Cobras are saturated with testosterone-injected males and one exceedingly frightening and masculine-looking female named Fran.

I couldn't help but notice that this scary woman looked surprisingly familiar. Finally I figured out the resemblance. She looks just like the gross creature that is presented on the new Planters Peanuts commercials. Originally aired during the Super Bowl, this commercial also utilizes a gross, irksome unibrowed woman.

If you want to throw up in your mouth a little, check the Planters girl out here:



Decent commercial, but EWWW.

So question of the hour... was the Planters commercial inspired by Dodgeball or is it merely a revolting coincidence?

UPS Whiteboard - What happened to you?

I was a huge fan of the UPS Whiteboard commercials when they came on the scene. They showed an "actor" (actually a Creative Director at The Martin Agency in Richmond) drawing fascinating little doodles on a dry-erase board that could somehow be partially erased or slightly manipulated in order to explain a B2B shipping task, like routing or freight.

These ads were so simple and yet so attention-grabbing. Maybe it was the quirky, long-haired artist, or the irony of using a song by The Postal Service to sell UPS shipping, but I found these ads catchy and couldn't watch them enough. Here's an example:



Unfortunately, at some point during March Madness, I saw that these Whiteboard commercials had adopted a new look. Before, all of the UPS capabilities were demonstrated in 2-D on a dry-erase board. Now, these ads use some sort of animated component in order to demonstrate the same messages as the older commercials, but in a slightly more complicated way. I'm curious to find what others think of about the renovated strategy. Here's one of the newer ads:



I wasn't even sick of the old ads yet, but I feel like The Martin Agency should have opted to execute more of the traditional-style ads but with different graphics and "lessons." If it were my decision, I would have opted for a new soundtrack... perhaps a different tune by The Postal Service, or even a new band all together that shares a similarly interesting yet soothing electronic quality.

Maybe UPS advocated for the new approach as opposed to vice versa. Either way, whenever I see one of the new commercials I am saddened that it isn't one of old.

The Best Free Show Everyone Missed

Last night I had a chance to see The Roots play at the UT campus for 40 Acres Fest. I had my doubts about giving up a night of Final Four action, but free live music five blocks from my apartment will certainly get my attention.

Despite conflicting with one of America's favorite sporting events, thousands showed up to see the show. The spectators were treated to The Roots' own brand of experimental hip hop. They played a great set and even integrated beats from "This is Why I'm Hot," "Sexyback," and "Jungle Boogie." I loved whenever the entire band would dance together in a choreographed routine, but the highlight for me was the endless energy of the tuba player. Despite lugging around this enormous instrument for the duration of the show, he always radiated his enthusiasm in his dancing while he played. The Roots definitely put on a memorable show.

Picture source: http://www.utexas.edu/txunion/

In hoops action, Memphis defeated UCLA by 15 and Kansas beat UNC by 18. It has been a fitting Final Four to end what has easily been my worst bracket-picking job of all time. Like everyone else, I doubted Memphis, and was once again proven wrong. Though after seeing the Tigers manhandle the Longhorns last week, I can't say that the outcome of the Memphis-UCLA game was a huge surprise. As for Kansas, I'm still upset about Davidson losing to them by 2 in the Elite 8. Does this mean Davidson would have beat Carolina by 19 if they made that 3-pointer at the buzzer? Could you imagine, with all the UNC fans cheering so fervently for Davidson in the opening rounds?

I guess this means my personal "Kansas rule" will have to be revoked for March Madness Bracket '09 and beyond. For those of you who don't know, after several years of Kansas choking in the tournament and screwing up my bracket, I decided to institute a "Kansas rule" where I didn't allow the team to proceed beyond the Sweet 16 in making my selections. After two or three years of this working beautifully, the Kansas rule (as well as all of my personal bracket-picking rules this year) has blown up in my face. Which means next year I'll put them in the Final Four, and an unknown team like Bradley will knock them out in the first round again, devastating my bracket and leaving me cursing.

Revised final prediction: Memphis beats Kansas 78-66 in the final. Take that with a grain of salt.